its gotten hard to focus throuugh all these over doses its like i got a life in my hands and i almost lost grip of it now theres orchids in my spit now i have nightmares of spitting up flowers i guess girls like me aren't allowed to dream I need to feel something even if its for a second so i force my self to come to the sound of my own laughter and after it feels like a fetish im a dirty nasty kinky creep for needing stability please for give me for needing sleep stitched into my skin like a days n daze patch this tattoo is forever even if the friend that didnt isnt and im overwhelmed easlily look me in the eyes and tell me that you berleive in me before one of us disappears im used to you just taking off but theres usually at least one good bye doubt whyd you have to go so soon. Jessie williiams From flesh and bone to death and stone, faces gone and still the earth spins The rest of us will carry on but feel the cracks below the surface Dragging on to what avail? Our bodies rotting with confusion Lonely, tired, fried and frail. We live our lives in idle movements And giving into oblivion it seems all lost somewhere Between the awkwardness and the obvious of the trauma we all share And if ending it is preventative I can only blame the cause So few of us are left to beat the odds Sidhe Wyly I collect pictures and scraps of my siblings and my sisters who have passed by the rope, or the fentanyl in the batch everytime my phone rings, I'm expectin bad news I know the choking greeting, the silence that ensues now I just cut through, tell me who, tell me who it is now place your bets whose ashes are we spreadin next? I stick n poke her dust into my leg so she can walk with me. Didn't get to throw enough rocks or paint enough corporate property. Not the blaze of glory that you thought that it oughta be, I track you round the city by the breadcrumbs that you dropped for me. walk around cussin at em underneath my breath saying you should've known better, shoulda squared up and talked to me lover in the summer moon dancer in my dreams happens so quickly that I don't have time to grieve. I grow flowers for my lost loves Flowers for my comrades Promise every chance I have I'll fight like it'll bring em back

I am only punk so ive got the wiggle room to make mistakes its all on display all of my cognative dissonance and i am only punk so being bad at what i love is an aesthetic shoice not a mistake ive made by chain smoking my voice away check my collection of hand made disks and youll find the manifest of a thousand train kids ill never be one of the greatest but ill be in the same dusty crate as them. its okay to be over rated i first herd that song as a whisper in the yard never herd the banjo played so delibrately kind and i wonder where you are and i wonder if you wonder where i am drunk punk drunk punk your no hero any more im afraid to leave the house cause this bike is a pipe bomb we went together like sharpies on CD-Rs sure did leave your permenent mark i think kimya dawsons more punk than dystopia but its not a compitition i just like to have such a thought I am only punk so i got the wiggle room to make mistakes its all on display all of my cognitive dissonance and ive been town from the sky i know what its like to hit the ground at full force breaking all of your bones i know whats its like satan to feel your pain look at me know im afraid of loud sounds looking at me am i still punk look at me know im afraid to raise my voice well thats a good choice needs go unnoticed if left unspoke so i have spoke oipenly and hoepfully it seatles this discomfort i wonder if ozzy ozborn was into vore ive learned to hug myself more and more I never got to thank you for talking to my parents when you weren't talking to me. you stood next to my gender when no one else. you talked to people when they didn't know what was going on. i didn't know what was going on either but you had my back even in a time when i didn't have yours i think youre a good person. i think i am now too